From the channel that takes you behind the door

Behind the Funeral Home Door: What Families Are Never Told

What really happens to the body. What the price list leaves out. What you are allowed to refuse. And exactly what to say, before you sign anything.

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Cover of Behind the Funeral Home Door

Most families sit down with a funeral director within a day of the death. They are tired, grieving and short on time, and in a single meeting they agree to thousands of dollars of goods and services, usually without knowing what they were allowed to ask.

Nobody planned it that way. But the way funerals are sold rewards speed and packages: a full arrangement and a signature, before a family has had a quiet hour to think it through.

The manual

pages. Everything you'd want to know before you pick up the phone.

This is the complete guide to what happens after someone dies in America, from start to finish: the first hours, the body, embalming, the price list, caskets and vaults, cremation, burial, the cemetery, body donation, the service, planning ahead, paying for it, the paperwork, special cases and the family.

Every one of the 64 chapters follows the same pattern, so you can open it anywhere and find your way.

  1. The short versionWhat families are usually never told, in two or three sentences.
  2. What really happensStep by step and in plain words, behind the door you never walk through.
  3. What it means for your familyWhere it can cost you money, time or peace of mind.
  4. What to ask, say and doA checklist and word-for-word lines for the phone or the arrangement table.

Look inside

Real pages from the real manual, set in large print on purpose so it reads easily on a phone.

A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 15: Chapter 1. Why, after an expected death, almost nothing has to be decided in the first hour.
A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 20: what to ask, say and do. A checklist and the exact words to use, at the end of every chapter.
A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 82: what embalming actually is, step by step, behind the door families never walk through.
A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 102: Chapter 13. The itemized price list federal law says a funeral home must hand you.
A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 477: the state-by-state guide. Who regulates funeral homes in your state, and where to get death certificates.
A real page from the manualTAP TO ENLARGE
Page 515: Worksheet 2. Compare three funeral homes line by line before you sign anything.

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The math

What not knowing can cost

$2,495

The median basic services fee in 2023. It's on the bill before you've chosen anything else.

NFDA 2023 General Price List Study
$845

The median price of embalming in 2023, a procedure that is rarely required by law.

NFDA 2023 General Price List Study
39

funeral homes got FTC warning letters after undercover calls to more than 250 of them.

Federal Trade Commission, January 2024
23%

of funeral price lists checked in one survey left out the simplest cremation option.

Funeral Consumers Alliance & Consumer Federation of America, 2016

Federal law already gives every family the right to an itemized price list, in person or over the phone. Most never ask for one. A single call, made with the right questions, puts the decisions back in your hands. This manual gives you those questions.

What's inside

16 sections. 64 chapters. pages. Every fact sourced.

State-by-state guide

All 50 states and DC: whether a family may act without a funeral director, who regulates funeral homes, and where to order death certificates.

Printable worksheets

Your funeral wishes, a three-home price comparison, an arrangement meeting checklist, the first 72 hours, a document locator and a call log.

Glossary and sources

90 words the funeral home uses, in plain English, plus the laws, regulations and official guides behind every chapter, so you can check any fact yourself.

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Ivy Calloway

About the presenter

Ivy Calloway

Ivy is the face of our YouTube channel about funeral homes and what happens after death: the prep room, the crematory, the price list and the questions families wish they had asked. Behind her is a small team that researches every topic, reads the federal rules and state laws, and checks every number against an official source.

"Almost nobody walks into a funeral home knowing what they're allowed to ask. That isn't their fault, and it's fixable. This manual is everything we'd want a friend to read the night before those calls."

On YouTube, Ivy shows what funeral homes and crematories rarely explain to families. Watch the channel →

Get the manual

The complete family manual, ready tonight

  • Behind the Funeral Home Door. large-print pages, 64 chapters in 16 sections, PDF.
  • State-by-state guide. The starting rules for all 50 states and DC.
  • Six printable worksheets. Fill them in by hand and keep them with your papers.
  • Glossary and full source list. Every fact traceable to the law or an official guide.
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Secure checkoutInstant download7-day guaranteeEvery fact sourced
7-Day Money-Back Guarantee

If the manual doesn't help you face the hardest week of your family's life with more confidence, ask for a refund within 7 days of purchase and you'll get your money back.

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Questions

Frequently asked

How many pages is it?

More than large-print pages, organized into 64 chapters across 16 sections, plus a state-by-state guide, six printable worksheets, a glossary and the sources for every chapter.

Is there a money-back guarantee?

Yes. If the manual isn't useful to you, ask for a refund within 7 days of purchase and you get your money back.

Is this a printed book?

No. It's a PDF you download right after checkout. The type is large on purpose, so it reads comfortably on a phone, and you can print any chapter or worksheet at home.

Someone just died. Is it too late?

No. Start with Chapter 1 (the first hour), Chapter 4 (choosing the funeral home), Chapter 13 (the price list) and Chapter 61 (who has the right to decide). Every chapter ends with what to ask and what to say, so you can use it on the phone today.

Nobody in my family is dying. Why would I need this now?

Because the best time to learn this is before the phone rings. Section XII (Pre-Planning) and the worksheets help you write down your wishes and name who decides, so your family doesn't have to guess.

How is this different from free information online?

Free articles cover one topic at a time, and many are written by businesses that sell funeral services. This manual covers every step in one place, in order, with word-for-word lines for each situation and the source behind every fact.

Does it cover my state?

Yes. The state-by-state guide covers all 50 states and the District of Columbia, and the chapters point out where state law makes a difference. Rules change, so the guide also tells you which office to confirm with.

Is this legal advice?

No. It's general education, checked against the laws, regulations and official guides listed in each chapter. For a decision that matters, confirm it with your state funeral board or an attorney.

Is this book against funeral directors?

No. Most people in this work are honest and caring. The book is about knowing your rights, so you never have to find out which kind you're dealing with.

Who is Ivy Calloway?

Ivy is the presenter of our YouTube channel about funeral homes and what happens after death. The research behind the channel and this manual is done by our team, and every fact is sourced at the end of its chapter.

What if it's not for me?

You're covered by the 7-day money-back guarantee. See the refund policy. Questions go to .

One day, the phone will ring

When it does, you'll have a few hours to make decisions that cost thousands of dollars and are hard to undo. Read this first.

Read it before the phone rings

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